Expertise: being bitten repeatedly; possess the physical stamina of a pack mule, go from 0-60 mph in 3 seconds flat when seeing a scream in the backyard; screen phone calls, tv shows, and movies; coordinate productions of multiple housework; being proud for one minute and embarassed the next, handle products that are made cheap in plastic and battery operated; cleaning toilets and being able to appear as the most beautiful woman in my husband's eyes.